When the first Covid-19 lockdown hit in March 2020, James, a former Wales rugby league player, lost his job in construction and, over subsequent months, his relationship broke down. Without his usual coping mechanisms like socialising with friends, going to the gym or playing and coaching rugby, James found himself struggling with depression:
“I was in a dark place with no vision of being able to get out, motivated one minute and then the next in a bad mood, depressed and having really dark thoughts. I was depressed to a point where I couldn’t really explain it.”
“I wasn’t working, and had no rugby. I had no one to fall back on.”
On the night that Wales went into its second lockdown in October 2020, James experienced his first panic attack. He had spent the evening in the pub with friends but as he returned home alone and shut the door behind him, he found himself struggling for breath.
Not knowing what was happening, he texted his rugby community for support and was soon inundated with messages. One of them was from Shaunni, the adults programme manager at School of Hard Knocks, which uses sport, curriculum-based learning and counselling to help adults with mental health issues improve their wellbeing. She encouraged James to attend one of their courses.
“The counselling was helpful. I’m a proud man but engaging with people, opening up, allowed me to become myself. It gave me the tools to handle pressure and anxiety and to process how I felt. Most of all it helped me feel like what I really wanted to do with my life was actually possible.”
“I was nervous every day apart from the two final weeks. Honestly, seeing the other boys in the group so happy to be there and the changes and growth in all of us made me want to get up and be there every day. The School of Hard Knocks team just make you feel so welcomed, comfortable and safe.”
“The session on anxiety and understanding emotions was a real highlight for me. It’s things that you wouldn’t know or expect unless you are told. If schools taught this, it would save a lot of people.”
“Honestly, I never used to cry but I cry all the time now, in a good way.”
“I’m just really looking forward to the future now, I always thought that I would fall back into the same industry, into a bad cycle. The course has really helped me to recognise my potential, that I deserve a chance at reaching my dream job, that I am worthy of this.”
As well as helping James process and understand the thoughts and emotions he was experiencing, the course helped him get his life back on track and gave him the chance to turn his lifelong love of rugby into a new career.
After years in construction, he feared he lacked the skills and experience to change jobs. But after completing the School of Hard Knocks course he was offered a job volunteering for them, and he now works as one of their sports coaches, working in schools with disengaged kids. He says it’s his dream job and he feels he is making a difference every day.
“The thought of having an interview or making a new CV for a new job scared the hell out of me. All I have is building experience and I felt I’d never be good enough for a proper sports role. I never went to university, the coaching certificates I achieved were on my own in my spare time but I’ve never really taken credit for anything I’ve done, never really believed in myself. The course changed everything, helped me look at my achievements as a rugby player and coach. I learned it’s never too late.”
“I would encourage anyone to jump at the chance to do this course. It’s the best thing that I have ever been involved with. It helped me physically and mentally. I can’t thank School of Hard Knocks enough for their help and support.”
“This is the best job I’ve ever had and waking up every day is easy now.”